![]() Remember that pronouns are the tip of the gender iceberg. It is also a good idea to offer space to help process and listen to these experiences without expectations. ![]() When you notice someone being misgendered, check in with the people in your life to see how they would like you to step up for them in these situations. If you misgender someone, apologize succinctly, move on without centering yourself, and work to use correct pronouns in the future. Many individuals who use they/them pronouns experience being misgendered in various settings–work, school, home, and more. ![]() Learning about they/them pronouns is the first step to supporting those who use these pronouns. If you are still unclear about they/them pronouns or just want more information, be sure to take advantage of the wide array of resources available both online and in print! Whether you’d like to understand how to use they/them pronouns in a grammatical sense or to ground yourself in a story that contextualizes these pronouns, there is something out there for you to discover to support the people in your life who use these pronouns. Specifically checking in about pronouns regularly indicates that you understand that it is valid for identity and pronouns to shift over time. Modeling behaviors like these signals to the people in your life that you are a person who is safe and trustworthy. You can say something simple like, “my pronouns are X, what are yours?” so that it is an exchange, rather than a demand for information. If you are ever in a situation in which you do not know what pronouns someone uses, it is okay to ask politely without singling anyone out for “looking” trans or gender non conforming. This can also be done in places like social media bios and email signatures. One great way to create this space is by making it your personal practice to introduce yourself with your pronouns and check in regularly over the course of your relationships. Instead of making this assumption, it is possible and preferable to create space for people, both new and known, to share their pronouns with you. In other situations, utilizing they/them pronouns in this way can be invalidating, as pronouns are not one size fits all. However, it is best to only do this when you do not have the opportunity to ask someone their pronouns directly, like if you are referring to a stranger on the street. How can I respectfully utilize these (and other) pronouns in day-to-day situations?Ī common belief about they/them pronouns is that they can be used as the default for everyone. No set of pronouns has a required aesthetic or gender presentation, and the same applies to the pronouns they/them! This means that individuals of all genders use they/them pronouns! Media representation may misrepresent this by likening they/them pronouns to whiteness, thinness, and androgyny, but reality is much more expansive. Instead, selecting pronouns is a personal decision each person gets to make based on what feels most comfortable and affirming for them. ![]() While you might have previously heard of people who are non-binary or genderqueer using they/them pronouns, pronouns are not necessarily an indicator of someone’s identity. When thinking about the topic of pronouns as a whole, it is important to check assumptions at the door. Because they/them pronouns are a commonly-used set of gender neutral pronouns, many people–both cis and trans–want to better understand their significance and how to use them in daily life. While pronouns do not tell the entire story of someone’s gender, they can be an important piece of how a person chooses to relay their gender to those around them.
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